心理治疗师卡莉·斯科菲尔德（Carlie Schofield）是尤因族女性，现居沃伦加达拉瓦尔地区，她分享了自己克服讨好型人格的心路历程。[1]斯科菲尔德指出，讨好行为常被框架化为低自尊、边界不清或缺乏自信，但对她本人而言，这源于一种深刻的智能适应——应对种族刻板印象的恐惧和对家庭的责任感。[1]
斯科菲尔德强调，改变讨好型人格的关键不在于学会拒绝，而在于转变思维方式。[1]她表示，"改变事物的工作不是学会说不。而是学会回答一个不同的问题：我想要什么？"[1]通过成为母亲和进行自我反思，她逐步认识到需要平衡关心他人与照顾自己的需求。[1]斯科菲尔德进一步指出，"讨好人的反面不是自私。它是自我"，揭示真正的成长在于建立健康的自我认知。[1]
Carlie Schofield, a Yuin woman and therapist based in the Darawal region of Wollongong, has shared her personal experience overcoming people-pleasing behaviors that shaped much of her early life.[1] She explains that people pleasing is often mischaracterized as stemming from low self-esteem, unclear boundaries, or lack of confidence, when in reality, "for me, people pleasing began as a profound intelligent adaptation."[1] For Schofield, these patterns originated from a deep-seated fear of racial stereotypes and a strong sense of responsibility toward her family.
The turning point in her journey came through motherhood and self-reflection, which prompted her to reassess her priorities and recognize the importance of attending to her own needs.[1] Schofield emphasizes that transforming this pattern is not primarily about learning to say no; instead, "the work that changes things is learning to answer a different question: what do I want?"[1] She reframes the alternative to people pleasing, noting that "the opposite of people pleasing is not selfishness. It is self."[1] Through this process of self-awareness and intentional boundary-setting, Schofield has achieved a balanced approach to caring for others while prioritizing her own wellbeing.