约会应用Hinge进行的2025年全球调查揭示了困扰现代关系的一个核心问题：努力失衡。该调查覆盖6000名用户，发现72%的女性更看重伴侣在关系中的投入程度而非收入水平，84%的女性认为精心策划的约会比昂贵的约会更具吸引力1。这种现象被称为"努力失衡关系"，指的是一方持续投入而另一方努力不匹配的配偶关系1。
研究表明，这一问题与关系质量直接相关。2014年一项针对8006人的研究发现，在不同类型伴侣中，那些持续投入关系的夫妻报告了更高的幸福感和安全感1。心理学家菲比·罗杰斯指出，许多人因寻求连接、表现脆弱和担心被拒绝而感到精疲力竭，恐惧在其中起了重要作用1。
针对这一问题，性与关系治疗师塔尼亚·柯恩斯提出了具体建议：伴侣每天互相说一句好话，且不能重复前面说过的内容1。
An "effort-gap relationship" — where one partner consistently invests while the other fails to reciprocate — has emerged as a significant challenge in contemporary dating and relationships.1 A 2025 Hinge survey of 6,000 global users found that 72% of women prioritize their partner's relational effort over income, with 84% stating that thoughtfully planned dates appeal to them more than expensive outings.1 Research from 2014 involving 8,006 participants revealed that couples who maintain consistent mutual investment in their relationships report greater happiness and security compared to other partnership models.1
The consequences of mismatched effort extend beyond initial dissatisfaction. Psychologist Phoebe Rogers explains that many people become exhausted from pursuing connection, vulnerability, and managing the fear of rejection.1 To address this dynamic, sex and relationship therapist Tanya Koens recommends concrete daily practices, suggesting couples "say one kind thing to each other every day, and never repeat the same phrase."1 Australian men in particular have faced criticism for insufficient initiative in dating contexts, underscoring how cultural and personal patterns can perpetuate effort imbalances that undermine relationship satisfaction and longevity.1
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